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I’m going to back off of the whole ‘weekly goal’ thing for the moment. At least for a little while, anyway.

The reason? Well, I push myself pretty hard at times, and that’s not simply testimony to my upper-body strength. I set aggressive goals, and I make them. I’ve found that this is more or less how things get done with me. Set a goal, meet that goal . . . think of another goal to set for myself. Rinse, repeat.

Missing goals is disappointing, but it’s not the end of the world. However, when you’re setting goals for yourself you need to bear in mind the fact that the goal should be attainable. Sure it’s fun to push yourself, but setting yourself up for failure isn’t exactly a good thing if you want to maintain a positive mindset. And wouldn’t you know it, my mindset’s taking a bit of a pummeling lately.

Shifting gears and switching to a different project only really gets done when you find yourself running on passion ‘fumes’, where the activity more closely resembles ‘chore’ than it does ‘bliss’. Leaving a project like that bums me out, because it has structure, it has plot, and simply needs to be written . . . no guesswork, no mess, just voila, done. I just sort of assumed that I’d be able to apply fun, engaging, interesting writing over-top of that story. I made it part of my plan, in fact. Look here: Step 1, outline book. Step 2, write book in a way that is fun and engaging. Step 3, type ‘The End’. See?

So when dropping one project and picking up another, you need to try to ensure that the same sort of ‘running out of gas’ thing doesn’t happen to your new project, at least not right away. Thus, I set a goal for myself for *this* week, after missing the goal for last week. Turns out that was a bit of a mistake.

My inner writer needs to be handled with kid gloves at the moment, mostly because he’s still upset and brooding over the fact that he’s burned out on 3rd person writing recently. He’s the temperamental one, the artist who sits on the sofa with his eyes tightly shut, waiting for the rest of the room to just shut up so he can think, waiting for inspiration to hit him. He can’t be rushed. (Well, he *can* be, but bad things happen . . . like he gets burned out on 3rd person writing and needs a break from it)

So what I’m going to do is wait until he’s more comfortable. No goals for a while . . . the super-secret goal of which is to get my inner writer into a better head-space. Prologue has two pages almost completely finished, (1000+ words, so I guess technically it’s four pages, though it’s only 2 on my word processor) and the familiar voice of Vincent has returned with very little effort. Now is not the time to rush things, Bubba. Now’s the time to sit quietly and wait for the words to appear.

And what of Hamlet? Uh, well . . . shhhh! I’m waiting for words to appear! Keep quiet, or you’ll scare them off!

Update: Ten Arrows – Solid start

As imaginary people go, I really like Vincent. Having a main character you like is important, I think. If you get into disagreements with your main character, they can lead to fights, which leads to guys in white coats coming and telling you they’re going to take you for ice cream . . . but they LIE! There is no ice cream! I even tried licking the white, padded walls, and you know what they tasted like? Crazy-person spittle!  Ewwww!

Update: Hamlet – The real update

Okay, it’s not often that I give myself excuses for missing stuff, especially fun stuff, but it seems that I had a bunch of open windows on Beast, all of which involved the current scene of Hamlet. I was picking away at it, slowly, over a few days. Then, on Thursday, I open up Beast and I see: “Windows has restarted your computer. Wasn’t that helpful of us?”

So yah, work and research lost. I refuse to be bummed out tho. As I said, I’m just gonna sit back and let stuff happen for a bit. See? Look, I’m doing it right now.

So, I pondered a great deal. As per the previous post, Black Glass was getting a little rougher around the edges than I’d like, and I was getting concerned. The cure? Move back to what I’m good at for a little while.

See, it seems that whenever I’m knee-deep in 3rd person writing, I get to a point where I’m just so mired in the muck and bogged down that I can’t seem to take any forward steps at all. I needed a break from that, something familiar. And when it comes to writing, we all know what POV I have the most experience in . . .

(Hint – this blog is written in it!)

Yup, it’s time to get back into a little first-person action, ala Harael. Book #3 – Ten Arrows. It’s been mulled over long enough to get a complete outline, save for some minor details. Annoying ones, really.

See, the thing is that Vincent is clever, and thus whatever Vincent does, well, it’s bound to be clever. Most of it is spontaneous wit, flip remarks, and other stuff like that – that’s easy. But the *big* clever thing? You know, the plan that is so secret that even he barely knows anything about it? Surely you remember . . . the plan that outsmarted everyone in the whole city, that plan? I mean, he’s clever, therefore it would have to be clever, right?

Which means I have to be clever as well. Le sigh.

Sometimes while trying to come up with a plan – his plan – I find myself feeling a little resentful over the fact that he’s not the one coming up with it! He just sits back in his keep, doing Lordly things, while I’m working my butt off to-  . . .

(ahem) Anyway . . . let’s just say it isn’t easy to come up with clever “Aha! It was in plain sight all along!” kind of stuff and leave it at that.

So, I spent days trying to figure out the mechanics behind a little something that Vincent (clever fellow that he is) had put together, one of the dozens of little tricks that he’s become known for that will play a big role in the story. It’s a hard thing to do, creating a situation where several small and seemingly insignificant things are visible to readers from the very start, and yet keep them from understanding the importance of them. It’s the sort of thing that can even get me stuck from time to time.

And then, poof! Walking down the street, listening to Infected Mushroom, it came to me. Everything fit together, one shining instant. It made me smile – hell, it made me pat my own back, which is an odd thing to see someone do as they’re walking down the street. Good thing we got all these mosquitoes hanging around, so I’ve got something to blame these awkward self-congratulatory moments on.

And now, with 99.9% of the outline completely done, the only thing I’m waiting for is the “Okay, it’s time to start Book #3″ admission from myself. You know, that loud, fanfare-laden statement that rings out in the evening sky like the world’s largest collection of . . . things that ring out. That one simple statement is the only thing holding me back.

And thus . . . (straightens posture)

(clears throat)

Hey y’all! It’s time to start book #3! Hyuk!

. . .

Wow, that didn’t sound at all like I hoped it would. No cannon discharge, no fireworks in the background. Hmmm. Maybe my expectations were too high.

Update: Goal for this week – Prologue for Ten Arrows, 5 hours spent on Hamlet

Yeah, didn’t do much the whole long weekend, except go down to the heart specialist and run on a treadmill while half-naked. It’s not the sort of thing that allows you to write at the same time. So, I’ve got some lost time to make up for. Let’s get at ‘er! We’ll see how I’m doing by Wednesday.

Part of the goal I set for myself when I started the novel Black Glass was to move things along as quickly as possible. Fast-paced action is where it’s at, and slow-moving stories are an indulgence reserved for established authors, ones who do not have as much of a pressing need to sell themselves. This isn’t to say that a story shouldn’t meander and move slowly, just that the market isn’t designed to accept that sort of thing from untested writers who don’t have a built-in audience.

So, I moved fast, and I discovered that there was quite a bit of detail that became unnecessary as a result. Good lesson to learn, really.

Except now I suspect that lesson was the first of several. The next one is this – there’s a difference between sacrificing the amount of detail, and sacrificing the level of detail. I thought they were connected to one another at first, but am starting to realize that the difference is merely one of quantity vs quality.

My growing dissatisfaction with how the story has been progressing is rooted in the fact that the details I have been providing thus far haven’t been particularly rich, or helped develop the characters as much as I wish. Right now, as it stands, the main character’s ‘crisis of faith’ moment could easily be overlooked. The internal conflicts seem wooden and dead. What should be roiling, berserk rage comes across as ‘Anger lite’.

Or maybe I’m just too sensitive to it right now.

There’s an author, Neil Gaiman, who I would consider to be a master when it comes to writing rich, compressed quality detail. In one book, Neverwhere, I was quite literally sitting there with my jaw hanging open by page 4, because I’d been subjected to small-ish, innocent-looking paragraphs about the main character that packed such a concentrated whollop when it came to detail that I felt like I knew him for years.

Perhaps this isn’t the right time to be looking at something like that . . . maybe it’s an editing thing. Maybe I go back, look at these sentences that I’ve recently written and find a way to make them better. Maybe I look at them and realize they weren’t half as bad as I thought they were. Still, I think this weekend I’m going to take some time to sort through how Neil does it . . . pin down what he does that works so well, and try to understand why. Maybe understanding what someone like him is able to do will help me, maybe it’ll cause me to look at the stuff I’ve written so far with chagrin and mild embarrassment. Doesn’t matter.

After all, the whole point of this is to get better at it. How could you possibly get better at something you profess to love doing if you ignore those things that make you uncomfortable, and only focus on the parts you’re good at?

Update: Black Glass – Chapter 29 100% done

I’m writing this in the morning, and right now I’ve only got about 1000 words done on the chapter, but I’m going to say that the goal was met. I have an hour over lunch, and will stay up until the wee hours of the morning tonight if need be, but it’ll be done before I go to sleep.

Despite mini rants about flat, emotionless writing, I’m still rather excited about the progress – the entire story is about to reach the 75% done mark. Of course, when it’s 100% done, the editing will probably take a year, and it won’t end up in print form until all three books in the trilogy have been written, edited, and completely finished. That’s going to be difficult, and require some skill at gratification delaying.

Update: Ten Arrows – Outline further refined

I came up with a new character, one that will appear throughout the story, and won’t have any real relevance outside of it. It’ll be wacky, fun, and hopefully make milk shoot out of the nose of dozens of people. Even the ones who don’t drink milk.

This story is becoming increasingly vocal in its demands to be written. Right now I’m closer to viewing Black Glass as an obstacle I need to hurdle over to get to this story. I picture myself, slowly scratching out the last few words of the story, wearily acknowledging that it’s done, crossing the proverbial finish line. Then, I imagine myself perking up, despite the fact that it’s 3:00 in the morning, filled with brand new energy as I start writing the prologue for Ten Arrows.

I’m a strange, strange man.

Update: New goal – Black Glass Chapter 30 100% done – More Hamlet

It appears to be working for me, Bubba. Do some painful, hurried writing, and then do some Hamlet to cool off and relax. Maybe even remember what it’s like to be funny. Shouldn’t be hard to pull off again this week. In fact, I may do Chapter 30 over the weekend, just so I’ve got a week or so to take a breather.

You get to this point, eventually. Doesn’t matter if it’s skiing, running a marathon, or writing a book. Sooner or later the pristine powder you’ve been swooshing down just becomes a bunch of frozen water crystals, the test of running prowess becomes nothing more than some stupid, pointless activity that sees you dropping one foot in front of the other, over and over again. If you’re writing, the words may no longer sparkle like they did when you first began, and you begin to ask yourself questions like, “Why oh why did I ever think that this was a good idea?” and, “Who in their right mind would want to read this horrible, horrible tripe?”

Whoops, didn’t mean to mention the whole ‘reading of entrails’ thing. This post isn’t about religion, after all.

Still, it’s annoying when I get to this part, because not only do I know that most of these words aren’t nearly as bad as I’m thinking they are, but I also know that if they are, I’m not just going to leave them like that! Look at all those other words in the previous chapters! How many times did you go over it? Are you happy with how *those* words work?

What? ‘No’?! Uhh . . . hmm. I was rather banking on me saying ‘yes’, actually.

Well, okay, there’s several chapters that don’t need all that much work, and several that I actually enjoyed re-reading when I was doing some idle proofing, but first drafts are supposed to be messy. They’re supposed to be cleaned up later – shaped into whatever pleasing form you’ve determined it should take. I don’t know of anyone who writes something from beginning to end in one try, just like I don’t know of anyone who paints one small section of a picture at a time, waiting until that section is finished before going on to the next. You always start off with broad, bold strokes, leaving the finer detail work until you’ve got a firm understanding of the overall picture, and know how it’s going to look, more or less.

Sure, I’m a creative guy, but I’ve found that one of my main talents is the ability to take something and improve it, whether that something is a business plan, a photograph, a painting, or a collection of sentences. Even if they don’t sparkle right now, I’m good at adding sparkles. Why, I have a half-pound of rainbow glitter in my pocket as we speak.

Don’t ask.

So, why should I be distressed over something that I know I’m doing to be doing anyway, and believe I’m particularly good at? Why, because that ‘fixing’ stuff happens sometime in the nebulous future. This writing thing sucks *now*.

(sigh) Don’t mind me. It’s a phase, I’ll get over it.

Update: Hamlet – Up to page 31 complete

See that? Just like I predicted. Happened yesterday too, which means that today gets to be a ‘focus on the new chapter’ day. Thus my mini-rant above.

Update: Black Glass – Decent start, 40% or so.

750 words or so in so far, and I think it’ll be a short one. In fact, this whole chapter is going to be fairly easy to write I think, despite the distressing plain-ness of the words I’m using to write it with. You know, I may just need something fun to happen, something uplifting!

I know! The main character will tearfully admit that he’s always wanted to be a mime. That’ll spice things up!

To the point. Yup, that’s me . . . no more wandering idly through words, painting pictures of memories with these tiny little things called letters. Isn’t that an odd thing? I mean, they’re only little shapes composed of intersecting lines and occasional squiggly bits, and yet when you put them together they transcend what you-

Oh, right. Concise. That’s me.

Well, relaxed all weekend, did a little prep work, and then got right back to it. Figured I’d take care of the easy stuff first, work on the hard parts later. And so . . .

Update: Hamlet – Page 28 done

Only have 2 more pages to do and I’ve met part 1 of the goal. I figure tomorrow is when I’ll finish it, and then start outlining the next chapter for Black Glass. I’d put my chances of meeting my goal by Friday at about 75%.

See? I can get to the point quickly. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I haven’t had a Subway sandwich in a long, long time, and this one sitting in front of me appears to be an excellent specimen . . .

(insert gasping, out of breath retching sounds)

It . . . I’m just . . .

Hold on a second, lemme catch my breath.

(pant, pant)

Sorry, was out of breath there. I just . . . wooooo! Man oh man, that was a close one. Still trying to recover over here. Gimme another second.

(insert several deep breaths here)

Whew! Okay, feeling a little better now. Wow, that was intense. Two chapters, both which ended up being close to the 3k mark, done this week. They said I was crazy. They’re probably right, but still, they actually said it . . . which hurts my feelings. I mean, think I’m crazy all you want, but don’t just say it outright! What are you, nuts? That’s the sort of thing that makes me so mad, I could strangle a giraffe in the nude!

(insert several totally sane cheek-twitches here)

Anyways, enough of that sort of talk. The important thing here is that I did it. Two chapters, one week. Glove thrown down, glove picked up, glove worn about town for a while until some cops started looking at it suspiciously. I’ve never understood what the big problem is, really . . . it’s just a metal gauntlet, folks! It’s not like I’d beat anyone senseless that didn’t deserve it or anything!

But enough about last Tuesday . . . let’s get on with the updates!

Update: Black Glass – Chapters 27 & 28 finished.

As described previously. 3k words apiece. Sure there’s some wicked editing that needs to be done, but then again there was some wicked editing that needed to be done with chapters 1-24 back when I’d finished them. Honestly, the biggest thing I need to do is get away from what I’ve written a while, which is one of the reasons why I need to push myself forward, get more chapters under my belt. The more the story progresses, the more distant the last stuff I wrote becomes, and I can visit it with a critical eye and say “No no no, that’s all wrong! He’d actually say this, not that!” and poof! Editing.

So yah, blitz through another 12 chapters or so and I’ll be finished. I’ll also come in under the 100k mark, too! Sure, there’s some chapters that may need to be split, condensed, expanded, whatever . . . but that first ‘done’ is oft times the most important one . . . the one where you’ve made it to the end of something. You’ve crawled along a length of rope suspended over a dangerous chasm, and you made it to the other side. Oh sure, that rope is way different from the bridge you plan on building there, but for now you have the means of getting from one side to the other. It only gets better once you’ve got that.

Update: New Goal – Black Glass, Chapter 29 done. Hamlet, up to page 30 done.

Okay, I sort of see what’s going on here. Don’t want to just come to a standstill after meeting a goal that big, right? No, sir . . . just like you don’t run a marathon and then collapse on a bed. You gotta walk around a while, give your body a chance to settle down.

Or, this is my new ‘rest state’ – a chapter and Shakespeare re-write hilarity. “Here, take a break from all that hard work. We’ll only make you work at 80% for a week. How does that sound?”

Right now, it sounds bloody marvelous.

Yeah, even when working out really hard, you have to take moments to just stand back, catch your breath, grab a drink of water, and wait for the next set of reps. No point in going overboard, right Bubba? No sir, you might accidentally pull something, and then where would you be?

You’d be smack in the middle of an awkward workout metaphor that I’m not sure how to end properly . . .

Still, it was a good idea. Give myself a bit of a rest, head into the weekend with renewed optimism and confidence. I not only met the goals this week, but I kicked enough ass to go over and above them, something I didn’t force myself to do, but secretly kind of hoped I’d do anyway.

Black Glass – Chapters 27 & 28 outlined

In case I haven’t mentioned it before. Should be an interesting bit. Had a small-ish problem at first, because the outline sort of needed to be reconsidered – the first time that this one’s come into question. I had the sequence of events picked out and measured, but as far as character development is concerned my measurements might have been a little off. So, I may just have to wedge a new chapter in between a couple of the old ones, ending up with 41 instead of 40. Still, worst comes to worst I’ll still be around 90K words, which will be much easier to work with once I’ve let it sit and need to do some second draft edits.

Hamlet – Up to Page 25 and beyond

I’m starting to clue in to the humorous potential here, and we haven’t even got to the part where Hamlet is intentionally acting weird. That’s a good sign. Coming pretty easily, too.

I’ll come to spots where I’m reading what Shakespeare originally wrote, and I’m thinking, “God, what was the point of that?” Like, Hamlet’s going on about how evil his mom is, and marveling about how his uncle is capable of murdering his own brother and still able to keep the smile on his face. Then, he (Hamlet) apparently has to *write this fact down on a piece of paper*, so as not to forget “That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain;”

I’m pretty sure I’d remember something like that. In fact, I’m starting to wonder about this Hamlet guy’s memory.

Still, it happens in the original play! What’s the modern equivalent to stopping mid-rant and writing down something that’s so obvious that nobody’s ever thought to write it down before? What does the ‘modern’ Hamlet do?

I know! Hamlet’s so angry, he can only express himself with some edgy, teen-angst poetry! That’s the ticket.

New Goal – Chapter 27 & 28 of Black Glass

Yeah, somehow I knew it. Maybe my Hamlet randomness was so I could try to avoid the new goal, because I had a feeling I knew what it was. Well, buy the ticket, take the ride. At least I’ll be closer to the 75% mark soon.

. . . That gives me an idea! Hmmmm.

Best not talk about it out loud – my goal-setting subconscious might catch wind of it.

Okay, okay . . . so I drew a blank after that whole ‘Monday, Monday’ thing. Back off.

Been doing some changes to ye olde lifestyle lately, and it’s been okay. I now have to double-check everything I eat for correctness when it comes to stuff like salt, calories . . . taste. I’ve discovered that the trick is to be miserable and hungry for the majority of the day, rush home, scream “Chili cheese dog with ketchup! OM NOM NOM NOM!”, calculate your daily intake, and realize that you’ve done more damage to yourself with that one entree than if you’d spent an entire week playing with a defibrillator.

Worst. Week. Ever.

Still, I’ve rediscovered some of the cuisine classics, and reverted back to my art college days. You know, the days where I’d be in a grocery store staring at a box of kraft dinner, thinking things like, “It’s only a dollar, true. But I could really use another #2 pencil . . .”

And the results are not too shabby either. I mean, I’m looking better, and honestly I’m feeling better too . . . especially when I’m in-between blackouts on those days when I’m not crying blood, or curled up in the bathtub trying to sniff the glue from a used postage stamp. Here’s hoping that my next two weeks are as successful as these last two have been.

If not, please shoot me.

Update – Hamlet – Up to page 16 done

Told myself that I could take a bit of a breather this week, since that whole two-chapter nonsense was . . . well, nonsense. I suspect my relief will be short-lived however. It’s been pretty easy so far.

. . . a little too easy.

Update – Black Glass – Chapters 27 & 28 outlined

There, another goal I set for myself, and not only did I outline the one chapter, but I outlined the chapter after it just to prove that I could! See that? So now, when I’m setting goals for myself at the end of the week, and see that not only have I finished the 20 pages of Hamlet, but that I’ve also outlined two new chapters for Black Glass, and not just one, I’ll . . . well, I’ll . . .

I’ll probably be tempted to . . .

Oh no! What have I done?!?

Yeah, Friday came and I managed to post a short little song-and-dance about how I was so close to meeting the 2-chapter insanity I’d thrust upon myself, and I left it at that. How sad. I mean, I didn’t even post a new goal for myself!

Well, it’s Monday today. I didn’t get the chapter done in time for Friday, and posting a new goal for myself just didn’t seem right until I’d finished the previous one. Don’t get me wrong – I will finish every goal I set out to do . . . it’s just that some goals take longer than others.

So yeah, Friday was a little optimistic. I finished it Sunday. On the plus side, I’m happy with it right now, and feeling good about how I ended the chapter, it’s a great lead-in to the next one.

The new goal, instead of starting on Friday, will start today. And, because I’m such a nice guy, I’ll give myself a bit of a break. Details below.

Update: Black Glass – Chapter 26 100% done

Except for editing, of course, but that’s a given. On to chapter 27, and glory! Huzzah!

Update: New Goal – Chapter 27 outline and 20 pages of Hamlet done by Friday

See? I torture myself with an unreasonable goal like 2 chapters in 1 week, and then I treat myself to a cool-down period. I’m on page 9 right now, so 11 pages will probably be doable. Progress, relaxation, preparing myself for next week . . . when I just know I’m going to challenge myself to do something impossible once more.

Ha! No worries . . . I set the goal, I complete the goal. I set ‘em up, I knock ‘em down. I use some tired, overused, cliche expression about winning . . . and I point that fact out for no particular reason.

So, if it isn’t too obvious at this point, I got 3.1 done. Got it done on Thursday evening, as a matter of fact, allowing me to do some other stuff today. Feeling pretty good about this whole week in general. Hey, it’s Absinthe time!

Update: Pride – Section 3.1 done

Needs editing, of course . . . but what doesn’t? I whipped out the skeleton outline of what I needed to accomplish in that section, and I followed it more or less. Maybe I missed out on a few things I wanted Curt to cover as he reminisced, but then, as I was writing it, I decided that those weren’t the sort of things that he’d think about after all. So, all good. On to some sort of new goal for next week.

Update: Hamlet – Act 1 Scene 2 begun

I’ve come to the conclusion that Hamlet is a goth . . . black clothing, black eyeliner, the works. This introduces the possibility for some unexpected hilarity. I mean, can’t you picture it? He picks up a skull and starts talking to it, for crying out loud.

Update: New Goal – Black Glass Chapter 25

What?!? Hey, wait a second . . .  whoa whoa whoa! I was working on Pride, dammit! Why the hell am I changing gears like this? Finish a whole new chapter of Black Glass, by Friday? Am I crazy? Am I insane?

Maybe . . .